The window to my soul

now on sale

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 21:38:41 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 01:11:19 GMT

Why is it the people who "love" you cause you so much pain out of all those meant to protect us they cut us so deeply. I thought this would be the last of my disappointments and i would finally find something real but here i am again in tears. angry and sad at the same time. I wanted this to work so bad but its hard when you don't get outside. you need air to think clearly and i think the little bit of air i just got got me thinking straight. this just isn't working.and i should step back before it becomes worse.

Is it so strange the things that bother me? i find there simple. a need for respect and openess a kindness and to be treated like im special all the time not just 50 percent of the day. Maybe I don't deserve it maybe thats what he thinks that i just am the way i am to show off something like he says. I ask how he's doing and he says its just so i could get at him some way. im confused.this isn't right though to feel this way. and to hurt this much. I ask for advice and all i get is silence. I mean does all the happiness
clear up all the pian? how does this work? am I giving up to easily if i leave now? eh I guess It will all come to me when I'm ready to receive it.

New party!

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:28:47 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:24:00 GMT

angry kat!

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:22:03 GMT

yummy japanese fooddddd .... drool

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:38:11 GMT

more beautiful scenary from japan.

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:37:14 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:35:53 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:35:44 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 20:35:31 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 22:16:57 GMT

i carry your heart with me by ee cummings:

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 03:59:19 GMT

Family ties

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 22:25:16 GMT

I never thought of my family as one of those families that would separate and i guess I'm the only one After a long and arduous journey involving the sale of my mother house ( my old house) and the subsequent loss of trust for my brother handing it all. I'm added by the fact that we have become that family or at least one of us has. It times like these i know my mothers sad to see us behave in this way.

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 22:51:03 GMT

wendylady2: NEW YORK FASHION WEEK !!!AUTUMN 2008 RTW:

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 21:41:06 GMT

while planning my move to japan ive found so much. and I'm really glad for it. I know this isn't my usual depressing journal and thats a good thing right? I finally found happiness and even though everyday you have to fight to keep that happiness I still feel like I deserve it.

Ive joined a site called mixi its a Japanese sns (social networking site) and ive made a few friends over there that are going exchange Japanese lessons for English lessons lol I'm not sure how good I speaks English but i'm sure ill only screw them up a little lol.

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 20:34:55 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 08:23:47 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:06:49 GMT

I am so gonna make this its buetiful!

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 04:13:33 GMT

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 21:43:59 GMT

Overheard in New York | Wednesday One-Liners' Lives Are in the Hands of Cynical Strangers - Quote this entry!

Wednesday One-Liners' Lives Are in the Hands of Cynical Strangers

Pilot: For those of you seated on the left, if you look out of your window you can see the beautiful Manhattan skyline. For those seated on the right... thank you for flying United.

--Flight to Newark

Overheard by: will

Captain: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I'm your captain, James T. Kirk, and today I'll be assisted by my copilot, Ricky Bobby.

--JetBlue flight, JFK

Overheard by: jewish girl

Flight attendant: Welcome to New York's LaGuardia airport, where the local time is way too early in the morning!

--Red-eye flight from Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Overheard by: Johanna Cipolla

Female flight attendant: In response to the many requests about what in-flight movies will be playing I have decided to make a public announcement: we are playing Gone with the Wind, and you are all free to sit on the wing to watch it. There is one oxygen mask per seat, and two in the bathroom. Why there are two in the bathroom -- your guess is as good as mine. Thank you, and have a pleasant flight.

--Southwest flight to JFK

Flight attendant on PA: Be careful when opening the overhead bins. Items can shift during flight and fall on you, or even, God forbid, me.

Overheard by: Earthborn

--American Airlines flight, JFK

Flight attendant: Please take out the safety cards in your seat's back pocket and pretend to follow along.

--United flight 7418, LaGuardia

Overheard by: Natalya Petrovna

Flight attendant: Thank you for listening to the safety announcement for this Boeing 777 service to Atlanta... [Proceeds in low whisper] Go to sleep. Go to sleep. You don't want any beverages. Close your eyes and sleeep...

--Red-eye flight, LaGuardia

Overheard by: Drewp

via Overheard in New York, Apr 25, 2007

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 02:11:11 GMT

Should you really open your self up after years of building walls? I've managed to build these emotional walls to keep me from letting anyone hurt me anymore.My "I don't care" attitude hasn't gotten me very far but its kept me from tears.

Someone reminded me that it isn't good to keep it all to yourself but if you let people see your sour spots they tend to take note and revisit it anytime they feel the need. I've had so much pain in my few years that I don't want to burden anyone with it all but i also want people to tell me things lol. Ive become very straight forward about everything but my feelings and thats not like me.I used to be all feelings and emotion. but now I just want to cry alone because I haven't found anyone thats willing to just come along and comfort me.people say they want to know how you feel but most people run from real emotion. I miss the moments when your just laying around breathing. not expecting too much and not talking just breathing able to think about what you want and having someone there just to hear your words..these days its all about the quick fix. you feel this way? then do this everyone wants to solve the problem and move on so they can go watch tv.

How do you find that rock? the person you lean on when things go bad?or when you just need someone to be near? I guess thats what happens with age you tend start finding superficial relationship's.

Guess im Just a dinosaur.

27 is and odd age. in between young and crazy and old and classy lol

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 06:44:18 GMT

As I Walked Out One Evening
by W. H. Auden

As I walked out one evening, Walking down Bristol Street, The crowds upon the pavement Were fields of harvest wheat. And down by the brimming river I heard a lover sing Under an arch of the railway: 'Love has no ending. 'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you Till China and Africa meet, And the river jumps over the mountain And the salmon sing in the street, 'I'll love you till the ocean Is folded and hung up to dry And the seven stars go squawking Like geese about the sky. 'The years shall run like rabbits, For in my arms I hold The Flower of the Ages, And the first love of the world.' But all the clocks in the city Began to whirr and chime: 'O let not Time deceive you, You cannot conquer Time. 'In the burrows of the Nightmare Where Justice naked is, Time watches from the shadow And coughs when you would kiss. 'In headaches and in worry Vaguely life leaks away, And Time will have his fancy To-morrow or to-day. 'Into many a green valley Drifts the appalling snow; Time breaks the threaded dances And the diver's brilliant bow. 'O plunge your hands in water, Plunge them in up to the wrist; Stare, stare in the basin And wonder what you've missed. 'The glacier knocks in the cupboard, The desert sighs in the bed, And the crack in the tea-cup opens A lane to the land of the dead. 'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes And the Giant is enchanting to Jack, And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer, And Jill goes down on her back. 'O look, look in the mirror, O look in your distress: Life remains a blessing Although you cannot bless. 'O stand, stand at the window As the tears scald and start; You shall love your crooked neighbour With your crooked heart.' It was late, late in the evening, The lovers they were gone; The clocks had ceased their chiming, And the deep river ran on.

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 12:05:36 GMT

Now See, That Was a Normal Question. Four.

Professor: I've heard from students that have taken my exams that they're generally considered thinking exams. Rather than just have you recite the law, I try to throw questions in there that will make you examine the policies behind it... Yes?
Law student: What would you say the ratio of thinking questions to normal questions is going to be?
Professor: Hmmm... Really, I don't know if I can answer that. I mean, what to one person would be a thinking-type question, to another might not be, you know? [Same student raises hand again.] Usually I'm reluctant to let a person who asks a question like that ask another question, so let me ask you first -- how many of your questions are thinking-type questions?

--Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law

via Overheard in New York, Jan 9, 2007

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 11:58:02 GMT

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<a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/008720.html">YouCan Take the Woman out of Georgia, but You Can't Take the Spit out ofYour Coffee</a> Waitress: Hi, sweetie, how are you?!Can I get you some more coffee, sweetie? Sweetie, you look like you'vehad a rough night, can I get you something else? Queerlooking up at waitress for a silent minute: Darling, I really hope thisis your first day, 'cause clearly you are not skilled in the art ofserving New Yorkers. I don't know how they do things down South, buthere in the city you ask us what we want, you bring it to us, and youwalk away. You don't make small talk, you don't ask what's wrong, andyou sure as fuck don't call us 'Sweetie.' Get it? Waitress:Well, screw you! I don't need to sit here and listen to somebratty-- Queer, clapping: --Yes! Just like that! Except nexttime, instead of 'Screw you,' I'd say 'Fuck you.' Much more effective.Now, may I please have a cup of coffee? Thanks,Georgia. --Chelsea diner via<a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/">Overheard in NewYork</a>, Jan 16, 2007

Just a bunch of babbling

najimadesigns@gmail.com — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 08:59:20 GMT

This isn't that story

this isn't about sexual desire
no matter how much i may have stored
A burning never ending lust ,a kindled fire

this is about more then that
a need to feel sensual and sexual
although deep within my thoughts
that isn't my only story
I tell a story of need
the occasional glance
veiled expressions of gratitude at my presence

A whisper of good morning
and a sigh of goodnight
something to make the bad dreams fade
screams to me a need deep within my soul

I've tried to find these needed things in others
only to fall short.
in myself,
but somethings missing
that connection felt
only by the two for which it was created

sometimes its just that glance over breakfast
at squeeze of the hand at "the moments"
connections that last
that make it worth the pain
that make you forget everything
just for another sigh
a glance
a touch
when i think all this I think I can fall again.

This is not meant to be poetry or art its just some words that fell outta my hand into my book and then onto my keyboard.
I know it wont win any awards i just wanted to type it out.
this came of many conversations I've had with friends and family and I've used this chance to translate there words.

najima